Jokes (Only clean jokes here, please!)

adsatinder

explorer
हाथी : आई लव यू

चींटी : अबे जा, पहले दाँत अंदर करवा के आ____
 

adsatinder

explorer
मध्य रात्रि विशेष #पिंकू_ज्ञान

अपनी प्रॉब्लम को "I Love U" बोल के देखो....
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क्या पता वो भी तुम्हे छोड़कर चली
जाए....


@ sadakchhap
 

adsatinder

explorer
*CONTEMPORARY KIDDING*

- Not even in my wildest dreams I imagine myself entering a Bank, wearing a mask and asking for money.

- Never thought my hands will one day consume more alcohol than my liver...ever!

- Quarantine seems like a Netflix series...just when you think is over, they release the next season.

- I’m starting to like this mask thing...went to the supermarket and two people that I owe money to didn’t recognize me.

- Who was complaining that 2020 didn’t have enough holidays...now what?

- I need to social distance myself from my fridge; I tested positive in excess weight!

- Someone can tell me if the 2nd quarantine will be with the same family...
or we can change?

- In just two weeks we will hear if there are still two more weeks to let us know that two more weeks of quarantine are needed...

- I’m not planning adding this 2020 to my age...I didn’t even use it!

- We want to publicly apologize to the year 2019 for all the bad things we said about it.

- To all the ladies that were praying for their husbands to spend more time with them... how are you doing?

- My washing machine only accepts pijamas...I put a pair of jeans and a message came “stay home”!

- If I see anyone on December 31 crying for this year ending, I will use a bottle in their head!


- I feel like a teenager... no money in my wallet, hair long and out of control, thinking what to do with my life, and grounded home.

Smile, release stress, and be safe!
 

adsatinder

explorer
कोई भी हरियाणा से बाहर का डाक्टर हरियाणा
में आकर डाक्टर की दुकान नहीं खोल सकता

क्यों?

क्योंकि हरियाणा के मरीज की बिमारी हरियाणा के डाक्टर के अलावा कोई समझ ही नहीं सकता

जैसे :-
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"भीतरले म धूमा सा उठै सै।"
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"आख्या म त झल सी लीकडै सै।"
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"गात में उचाटी सी लाग री सै।"
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"जी कुलमुलावे सै।"
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"पेट मे धुकड़ धुकड़ हो री सै।"
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"हाथ झूठे पड़ रे सै।"
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"हरकत हो री सै।"
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"कालजा लिकड़ लिकड़ बाहर आवे सै।"
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"काना मै चिड़िया सी बोले सै।"
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"कड़ मै तरेड़ सी पाटै सै।"
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"घंघेला सा उठ रह्या सै सिर म्ह।"
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"हाथ पाया म्ह जान सी नी रही।"
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"सारी रात उल्टा-सीधा दिखे गया।"
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" जीभ लभ लभारी सै"
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ऐसी ऐसी बीमारी सुनकर अच्छे अच्छे MBBS को अपनी डिग्री पर शक हो जाता है कि कहीं ये Chapter छूट तो नहीं गया था।।।

 

adsatinder

explorer
*एक साहब बता रहे थे,*
*कि वे पिछले 35 सालों से,*
*गीता के उपदेश नियमित रूप से सुनते आ रहे हैं,*
*और उसी के मुताबिक जीवन जीते हैं।*
*मेरा मन उनके प्रति सम्मान से भर गया।*
*मैं उसके पाव छूने ही वाला था...*
*इतने में बगल में बैठा एक,* *आदमी मेरे कान में बोला,*
*गीता इनकी पत्नी का नाम है...*
 

adsatinder

explorer
*pati की विडम्बना..!*

पत्नी ने मोटे मोटे आँसू भर कर कहा, "इस मुए लॉकडाउन की वजह से मेरी हैसियत एक नौकरानी जैसी हो गयी है"

Pati , "भगवन, बर्तन भांडे मैने धोए, कपड़े मैने धोए, झाड़ू पोंछे से लेकर हर घर का काम मैने किया तो तू कैसे नौकरानी हो गयी?"

पत्नी बोली, "नौकर की बीवी तो नौकरानी ही हुई ना!"

 

adsatinder

explorer
About 6 months ago, my neighbor asked us if we wouldn't mind sharing our Wi-Fi password. We decided to give it to him because it wouldn't cost us anything extra, and because we got along with him. Yesterday, as I was getting out of the car, the neighbor was at his door, getting ready to come outside. I stopped to talk a bit as he held the door open. He happily told me he now had Netflix. At that, jokingly I said: ′′I work hard, I barely have time to watch TV, but, if you could lend us your password to watch some shows, we'd appreciate it ". A voice was heard in the distance, inside the house. It was his wife, ′′We can't give the password to them, because I'm the one who pays the bill and I can't share it." The man apologized and I said it was no problem. We kept talking about other things, and as I left, he stayed working outside. When I happened to look outside a little while later, I noticed the man's wife come outside. She seemed very nervous and upset. They both went into the house. After a few minutes, he and his wife came to my door to tell me the Wi-Fi password wasn't working anymore. I looked at them and said, ′′ I changed my password, because it's me paying the bill and I can't share it ". The wife turned red and tried to say something, but I said, ′′Ma'am, I have my network and you have your Netflix, everything is fine and everyone is happy". They turned around and left. They never spoke to me again.
_______________________________
This story isn't mine, but here's the lesson I learned from it:
- Friendship must be mutual.
- Love must be mutual.
- Affection must be mutual.
In 2020 I intend to return silence with silence, absences with absences, affection with affection, friendship with friendship and loyalty with loyalty. No more one-sided feelings. Feelings must be mutual.
PS. If you read all the way through, copy and paste this (don't share) on your page. #YouGetWhatYouGive.
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adsatinder

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मास्टर जी - दशमलव किसे कहते हैं?
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पप्पू - जब 10 से LOVE हो जाए,
उसी को दशमलव कहते हैं...!!!
 

adsatinder

explorer
गर्लफ्रेंड बनाने के बाद ही अधिकतर लड़कों को पता चलता है कि...
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50 रुपये से ऊपर की भी Dairy Milk आती है...!!!
 
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