Jokes (Only clean jokes here, please!)


Here's something I want to share with you all...
Yesterday, I went to the supermarket with the prudence dictated by the new normal. Mask, safe entry and safety distance.
I then started to get the things that were on my shortlist, and when I was lining up to pay, between taking the money and storing the phone, the 2000 rupee note I had to pay fell on the floor, and the man who was in front of me finishing paying his purchases slowly bent down and picked up my note.
Wow, how much education and kindness in these pandemic times , I thought. I held out my hand, waiting for him to give me back my money, trying to stay away, so that he would feel safe, while preparing to thank him for the gesture.
But suddenly, what he told me was shocking "What's on the floor belongs to whoever finds it" ! and just like that, he left ... naturally, as if he hadn't done anything wrong.
I looked at the lady behind me and the people next to me and they all looked at me in shock and disbelief, whispering things between them.
For a moment there, I was trying to evaluate myself. I wanted to do justice on my own ... I left my purchases, because I had no way to pay (I forgot to bring my credit card), and went after him to the carpark, to have my 2000 rupees returned.
However, I realized that the people closest to the line came after me, curious to know what was going to happen ...
I spoke to him demanding my money but he just looked at me with contempt and acted like I was invisible.
When he got to the car, he slowly put his two shopping bags on the floor to take the key out of his pocket and open the trunk, and I thought - It's Now or Never!
I took the two bags and told him the same thing he had said to me 'What is on the floor belongs to those who find it'.... and I started running towards the exit, between fright and laughter, proud of my revenge.
The spectators started to applaud and I saw that the “smart guy” had been irritated after all, as he left the parking lot dropping security cones in his path.
I swear I felt a rush of adrenaline, fright and nervousness, but then I cried with laughter.
When I got home I opened the bags and found:
- 2 kg shrimp
- 1 kg of salmon
- ham, cheese and yoghurt of two flavours
- whole-grain bread
- 1 bottle of white wine
- 2 bottles of red wine
- 2 jars of strawberry jam
- 2 kg of very good quality salami
- 1 jar of mayonnaise
I had never made so many purchases with only 2000 rupees
And now here I am ... Having a glass of wine, eating and thinking as I write - am I a vigilante or a vindictive person?


This obviously did not happen to me.
It's just a campaign to promote reading!

Reading stimulates the mind and imagination, makes us travel to other places and even helps communication.
If you want to copy and paste and produce a smile from your friends.
Please go ahead, stimulate someone else's mind.
Reading an entire article also prevents you from becoming a victim of clickbait and fake news.


Active Member
कल सैलून वाले क़ी दुकान पर एक स्लोगन पढा़ ..

"हम दिल का बोझ तो नहीं पर सिर का बोझ जरूर हल्का कर सकते हैं "..

लाइट क़ी दुकान वाले ने बोर्ड के नीचे लिखवाया ..

"आपके दिमाग की बत्ती भले ही जले या ना जले,परंतु हमारा बल्ब ज़रूर जलेगा "..

चाय के होटल वाले ने काउंटर पर लिखवाया ..

"मैं भले ही साधारण हूँ, पर चाय स्पेशल बनाता हूँ।"

एक रेस्टोरेंट ने सबसे अलग स्लोगन लिखवाया ..

"यहाँ घऱ जैसा खाना नहीं मिलता, आप निश्चिंत होकर अंदर पधारें।"

इलेक्ट्रॉनिक दुकान पर स्लोगन पढ़ा तो मैं भाव विभोर हो गया ..

"अगर आपका कोई फैन नहीं है तो यहाँ से ले जाइए "..

गोलगप्पे के ठेले पर एक स्लोगन लिखा था ..

"गोलगप्पे खाने के लिए दिल बड़ा हो ना हो, मुँह बड़ा रखें, पूरा खोलें" ..

फल भंडार वाले ने तो स्लोगन लिखने की हद ही कर दी ..

"आप तो बस कर्म करिए, फल हम दे देंगे "..

घड़ी वाले ने एक ग़ज़ब स्लोगन लिखा ..?

"भागते हुए समय को बस में रखें, चाहे दीवार पर टांगें, चाहे हाथ पर बांधें..."..

ज्योतिषी ने बोर्ड पर स्लोगन लिखवाया ..
"आइए .. मात्र 100 रुपए में अपनी ज़िंदगी के आने वाले एपिसोड देखिए ..."

बालों के तेल क़ी एक कंपनी ने हर प्रोडक्ट पर एक स्लोगन लिखा ..

"भगवान ही नहीं, हम भी बाल बाल बचाते हैं।" ..

अंत में शराब की दुकान पर लिखा सबसे अच्छा सबसे बढ़िया स्लोगन-

"बोतल शराब की ख़ुद
"ख़ाली" होकर
दूसरों को "फ़ुल" कर देती है !! परोपकार की जय!!!

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Active Member
पत्नी इन रोमेंटिक मूड (रेडियो मिर्ची) : साड़ी तू care नी करदा..टाइम सपेंड नी करता

पती इन इंगनोरस मूड (विविध भारती) : हमने देखी है इन आँखो की महकती ख़ुशबू हाथ से छू कर इन्हें रिश्तों का नाम ना दो

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Active Member
*वैधानिक चेतावनी*

*1 दिसंबर 2020 के बाद जिन बच्चों का जन्म होगा, सरकार उनका जन्म प्रमाणपत्र जारी नहीं करेगी, क्योंकि उनके माता-पिता ने लॉकडाउन में सोशल- डिस्टेन्सिंग का पालन नहीं किया।*

*जनहित में जारी*

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