Is that Rohit ?come on guys..Rohit was my classmate
Jokes (Only clean jokes here, please!)
- Thread starter Yogesh Sarkar
- Start date
pushpinder
Guru
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits. He also sold them their optional GI insurance.
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales. This had never happened before.
Rather than ask, the Captain did a "random walk" and stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. It went something like this:
Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:
"If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries.
If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6,000."
"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says "No, I'm really a blonde".
"I thought so," he says. "You have a broken finger."
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An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. ''Hit him again,'' the 5-year-old said. ''He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!''
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales. This had never happened before.
Rather than ask, the Captain did a "random walk" and stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. It went something like this:
Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:
"If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries.
If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6,000."
"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
- - - Updated - - -
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says "No, I'm really a blonde".
"I thought so," he says. "You have a broken finger."
- - - Updated - - -
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. ''Hit him again,'' the 5-year-old said. ''He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!''
Davind3r
Leh calling!!!!!
Aurangzeb(The Last Mughal Rular) to his Army/soldiers: You are thousands in number and you can't find single person Chhatrapati Shivaji?
Soldiers: Jahan Pnah, Hum Mooghal hai, Google nahi...
Soldiers: Jahan Pnah, Hum Mooghal hai, Google nahi...
pushpinder
Guru
Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim & Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell sad stories.
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!!!
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Late one Friday night, a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
"Aye, so I have. It's Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five of those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and of course I had to go in for a couple of Guiness - couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later..." Then, the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.
The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test."
Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!"
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim & Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell sad stories.
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!!!
- - - Updated - - -
Late one Friday night, a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
"Aye, so I have. It's Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five of those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and of course I had to go in for a couple of Guiness - couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later..." Then, the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.
The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test."
Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!"
sahilthegoodguy
Well-Known Member
Last edited:
MonkeyBoy4u
Active Member
Guys, sorry for all these power failures.
I have now removed my phone from charging.
Regards,
Rajnikant..
I have now removed my phone from charging.
Regards,
Rajnikant..
pushpinder
Guru
Power minister Shinde made us Powerless
Now, Home minister Shinde will make us Homeless!!
Now, Home minister Shinde will make us Homeless!!
John Mathai
john-the wanderer
An ambitious MLA phones the Chief Minister's residence late after midnight.
The CM's Personal Assistant answered the call.
I need to talk urgently with the CM. It's a matter of emergency, explained the MLA
After much cajoling the CM's Personal Assistant agreed to wake the CM.
"So what is so important that it could not wait until morning" grumbled the Sleepy CM
"The Home Minister just died" explained The MLA "and I would like to take his place" begged the MLA.
"Well..., it's okay with me." agreed the CM. "If it's okay with the crematorium, you may
very well go ahead and take his place instead..!"
The CM's Personal Assistant answered the call.
I need to talk urgently with the CM. It's a matter of emergency, explained the MLA
After much cajoling the CM's Personal Assistant agreed to wake the CM.
"So what is so important that it could not wait until morning" grumbled the Sleepy CM
"The Home Minister just died" explained The MLA "and I would like to take his place" begged the MLA.
"Well..., it's okay with me." agreed the CM. "If it's okay with the crematorium, you may
very well go ahead and take his place instead..!"