Jokes (Only clean jokes here, please!)


Super User
some interesting facts:

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb..
(Now that's more like it !)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(O.M.G!!In my next life, I want to be a pig..)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates
sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.... ...)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light..
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??, Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

John Mathai

john-the wanderer
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal were hanging out one afternoon.
Einstein is bored, so he suggests, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll be it!"
The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. "One... Two... Three..."
Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.
But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a square 1m x 1m.
He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts: "Ready or not -- here I come!"
Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. He says, "I found you, Newton!"
Newton replies, "No, you found one Newton per square meter -- You found Pascal!"


Ek Ladaki Ki ko 5 Crore Ki Lottery Lagi..

Company ne socha achanak bataya to ladki Khushi se mar sakti hai..

company ne pappu ko ye kaam diya

Ke aise batao Ke wo khushhi se mar na jaye..

Pappu ne jake us ladki ko bola:

"Farz karo aap Ka 5 crore ka inaam nikal aaye to aap kya krogi?"

Ladaki : Aap Ke samne dance krongi,

Shaadi Kar longi..

Yehi Nahin..

Aadha Inaam Bhi De dungi... !!

Ye sun kar Sala Pappu Hi Khushi Se Mar Gaya..! !
Santa sabzi lene gaya.

Sabziwala sabzi par paani maar raha tha.

Kaafi der ho gayi to Santa bola: "Agar sabzi ko HOSH aa gaya ho to 1 kilo de dena."